May Day...

Unfortunately, May Day will never be a happy day for me anymore (and it has nothing to do with celebrations of communism...).

May 1, 1993 was my beloved dog Gypsy's birthday. She succumbed to mast cell tumor cancer on March 5, 2007. She was a paragon of health until this damn disease hit her. We fought it, together from June 2006 until her death. She had 9 excellent months, overall, and always got over her bad days. When she wasn't getting over her last bad day, I had to make the most difficult decision of my life. Just thinking about it is making me ball right now like a little baby. Fuck, but I loved that dog, and still miss her dearly. There's a verse in the song "Mr. Bojangles" by the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band that goes:

He danced for those at minstrel shows and county fairs
throughout the south
He spoke through tears of 15 years how his dog and him
traveled about
The dog up and died, he up and died
And after 20 years he still grieves

I know exactly how he feels and I also know that if I'm alive in 20 years, I will still be grieving, too. Someday I want to write about her -- maybe a "Marley and Me" short story or something, but I can't yet, as I'm still too sad about it all. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Here's a blurry picture of my girl that I keep on my cell phone. This was very near the end of her life, but she was still full of happiness (she was "talking" to me in this photo). She wore a t-shirt for 2 reasons -- so she wouldn't go at her tumors and so the medicine would stay on. What a wonderful friend.

As an addenda, the continued loss of my beloved friend makes my whole insides hurt. It is like nothing I've ever experienced before, and I've had most of my family die off over the years. While I'm sad about many of them, it doesn't weigh on me daily, like Gypsy does. And the hurt has gone away after 2+ years. This hurt for Gyppers is just just embedding itself deeper in my soul. I will always love that beautiful girl. Always.

On another bad note, some asshole(s) cut down 15 flowering pear trees around the tennis courts at the high school yesterday (their campus is right next to ours). Senseless vandalism at its worst -- I don't get what the perp(s) got out of doing this. Hell, break a few windows, tag the school's walls, whatever, but killing beautiful trees? Just makes no sense to me.

Senseless Destruction of Beauty

Weekend Approaching...

It looks good for me to attend the BACSIM meet at UB this Saturday. I'll need to read the rules to my game of Small World and hope I can interest some folks! Maybe get a game of Le Havre in, as well. Who needs wargames, eh? Well, I'll bring some of them, as well...

I'm thinking I may spend the night in Niagara and head to the Seneca Niagara Casino Sunday morning. It's been a while since I've played poker there. I've been playing a lot of Poker Stars, and doing pretty well. I concentrate on tournaments, and when I hit a losing streak I find a 6-player table and win my $$$ back. Overall, since 2009 started, I'm about even, but should be up. I've made the mistake several times in the past of drinking too many beers while I'm playing -- and then I start playing dumb. I would guess I've lost $500 to stupid, buzzed plays. If I hadn't done that, I'd be sitting real pretty, but at least I've learned my lesson. Anyway, I'm finding that I'm better than about 90-95% of the players on that site, but there are a handful of players I run into that continue to teach me valuable lessons. I don't think I'll ever have the patience to get into the "elite" group, but I think I've established myself in the "good/very good" group (except after too many beers). Now, I need to get up the courage to play in higher stakes games. Of course, the players are better there, so the learning will start all over again...

Oh, Mike and I finished our earlier Onslaught game last evening. My Germans held west of the Rhine, and the Allies just never got rolling well enough to burst through. A well-timed "Bulge" offensive in Belgium allowed me to kill 3 Armored divisions (2 U.S. 1 French), blunting the Allied spearhead headed toward Antwerp. We decided to start another game, switching sides. My Allies broke out in July, then got several activations in a row and were able to cut off 3 German corps, annihilating them over the next few activations. Mike was able to pull back to Belgium and the Westwall, but another good run of activations for me allowed the Brits and Canadians to clear the Anwerp ports while 2 U.S. Armor corps broke through Luxembourg then crossed the Rhine -- General Patton would have been proud! With 30 Allied supply (the max) coming in each turn, and a breakthrough established, we decided to call the game. I do like this game, but I admit I got lucky (so maybe that's why I like it, LOL!).


Next week, onto an old favorite that I haven't played for awhile -- Espana 1936. Really looking forward to it!

Hump Day...

No comments from my buds yesterday -- either I'm being ignored or folks still think Zyzzyva's "down." That's OK, it's not like yesterday's post was overly interesting.

Tonight I'm headed to Mike's to finish up our Onslaught game and start another. Yes, this truly is a 3-4 hour game, and, even though it has hexes and generic units, it does a nice job of simulating the breakout and attack on the Westwall. I also just started a Wilderness War game (Annus Mirabilis scenario) via ACTS. I'm the French, and the first card play for the Brits was the big Highlanders (4 units!). At least Wolfe didn't show up with them... I really do love this game, glad to be getting back into it.



We had a Greek Festival in class today, after the students gave presentations on Greek gods/goddesses/titans they researched. It was a lot of fun, and I'll be skipping lunch today after all those grape leaves, hummus, and goat cheese!

I'm pretty pooped right now, didn't sleep well last night for some reason. Had the strangest dream -- that I had died and was getting "lessons" from a ghost-like person about the "rules." Essentially what I could or couldn't do. I was asking about getting together with Gypsy, when I woke up in a cold sweat and my heart racing. Admittedly, this scared me somewhat, so it was over an hour before I was able to settle down and drift off again. Since I woke up into the world of the living this morning, I'm guessing it was only a dream...

Lethargy

I was hoping that April would be a month of "rejuvenation," but it really wasn't. School was tedious (though I want to make clear to any readers that I've never given my students less than 100% -- it's just that by the end of the day I'm spent and feeling empty) and April Break was a drag. I did very little over break, save for playing a few games. I've been trying to jump-start a good diet and exercise program, but I'm just not finding the will, nor the energy. I really need to get out of my funk, or it will be the end of me (undoubtedly pleasing a few folks...).

Cheyenne continues to be my best friend, and I am giving what little I have to her. It's funny how one can become so close to an animal, but, as the saying goes, dogs truly are man's best friend. Still missing my other best friend, Gypsy, each and every day, and I'm still finding it hard to believe she died more than 2 years ago. I have decided, that, for me, the loss of a beloved dog is harder than the loss of a human, as no death has ever weighed on me so heavily. Cheyenne has helped take some of the sting out of things, though I don't know how I'll ever go through that again.

Cheyenne after chasing tennis balls...

So, there's my black mood, still festering. I'm not sure there will be anything to look forward to this summer. I'd love to get back to Ocracoke, but I imagine it would be a solo trip, and that's not going to fit the bill, I don't think. I do wonder if I'll ever get back to what has turned out to be one of my favorite places. There's a chance I can get Cheyenne involved in agility training this summer, so that might be the ticket to get outside and get some exercise. Part of me wishes I didn't dislike baseball so much, for the sports scene is pretty lame until football picks up again in the fall. Of course, there's always gaming, and that is one aspect of my life I still find some time to enjoy.

Right now, Mike Cardwell and I are on our 2nd game of Onslaught. I like the game, for it uses a variable impulse system, which helps create uncertainty and chaos. Right now, we're nearing the end of the game, and my Germans are hoping the Allies can't breach the Westwall too quickly! I also played my first game of Wilderness War in almost 2 years with Nels Thompson in Buffalo. I almost forgot how much I enjoy the game, and we decided to end in a draw after we both made some mistakes down the stretch. I'm hoping to get another game going soon. Oh, I also finished up my play-by-email Successors game. I didn't win, but had my chances. An attack of mine didn't work (poor dice and a mutiny in my ranks!), and this handed victory to Chris Milne. But had I won the battle in Greece, I would have been unstoppable. Oh well, win some, lose some.

Mike and I will be gaming this Wednesday, and I think I'll be headed to UB for BACSIM on Saturday. The question is, will I have to board Cheyenne to do so? That should keep me busy...

I'll probably try to keep the blog updated, at least minimally, with gaming content (if nothing else). I have purchased a bunch of "new stuff" lately, and there's more on the way. So, I should have some comments on games I have yet to try. If agility training does begin, I will be able to "diary" about her progress here, as well.

So, thanks for letting me take the month off (I know I'm back a few days early, but I had time...). I needed to do that -- now, if I could take a break from school, life, etc., I'd be fine!